I don’t know why we continually
repeat ourselves as if the people we’re talking to
haven’t already heard a thousand times before.
We’re a broken record on repeat trying
to convince ourselves what we’re saying
must be true because we’re saying them
the exact same way, refusing to put
the words in any other order.
We continue spinning
even when one of us gets dizzy.
What we see and what we know
are two different concepts.
We don’t claim to know anything
but this back and forth is continuing
like one of us will share something
to make this reality stop rotating.
I have nothing to add anymore,
my stutter has gone silent to the listeners
and I’m not even sure why I’m still here
when I know what has led me to the place
where I can forget the time and space
of what is meant to be getting something done.
I’m done running away from what I cannot change,
from what needs to be arranged. I feel like
I’m beginning to go insane. So I’m jumping ship
to free myself from this horrid habit that has
morphed and shifted one too many times.
Leave me be, I’ll find my way without a boat,
just leave me here to float. The rocking of the waves
is a much needed change from the blurred
reality I’ve known too well. I need to trust
in my own vision instead of relying
on another story that has already
been written. I need to create my own
stories instead filling my mind
with speculation of realities that
will only exist in my imagination.