It’s been fall for two days and I can already feel
the crisp in the air. It makes the hair on my arms
stand up. I breathe in deep breaths to take as much
as this magic in as I can. This is my favorite time of
year because it’s gone in a blink of an eye. It’s delicate,
for this beauty comes from the change of leaving the
earth. Orange leaves stay on the grass until they
get raked up on the weekend.
Walking through the woods, I admire the changing leaves
on the aspen trees. It looks like fall but feels like summer.
I take off my sweater and look at the view that’s similar to
the moon. Wide open space with very little human life
equates to the feeling of being on another planet. The leaves
look like their on fire as the orange color burns the naked
eye. When I reach the top, I look out to see hills and mountains
filled with fire leaves. The hills are alive with the sound of
music plays in my head while I catch my breath.
Nebraska feels longer than Iowa
and Iowa felt like forever
while I was fast asleep.
I watch the miles drop
as I fly by green signs on the
highway traveling west.
Listening to a podcast,
my father sleeping in the passenger seat,
I wonder how long it will take
until I see something new.
Green fields and pastures filled
with cows, semi trucks too large
to fit on the road.
75 mph for almost two hours,
no stopping or terrible weather,
I watch the low clouds drift east as
I slowly wish to be lost in a dream.
Thousands of feet up in the air,
I’m trapped in this metal tube.
I feel dizzy and I’m not spinning.
Overheated from the lack of air circulation.
Head throbbing that will eventually turn into a migraine after I land.
I close my eyes and the spinning becomes faster.
Minutes move along like hours.
I can’t read the book I want to read.
I can’t look at my phone for longer than 5 seconds,
Just long enough to change the song.
I look forward to the blue chair in front of me.
Nothing is working.
The amount of feeling awful comes in waves.
I sleep for a minute or two, just enough to numb the nauseousness
before the turbulence causes the spinning to return.
I feel like I’m going to throw up but I know I won’t.
I don’t get physically sick from motion sickness.
I just feel awful as my mood plummets to the ground we’re flying over.
I repeat these words in my head because I can’t write this down.
I’m hoping I will remember this when I do.
The scariest thing about taking a risk is jumping off the cliff.
You’re not sure if you will know how to fly as you say goodbye.
The view is beautiful but also leaves you in a state of shock.
It’s only when you jump, will you know you will fly farther than you’ll fall.
Summer wind is unique. Its warm feeling can either comfort us or make us want to scream. It’s different in every place and depending on how you feel about this season, the wind will either make or break you.
I tend to be indifferent towards the summer wind. Some days, it reminds me of my childhood and other days I feel as though I’m living in hell. It’s normally the latter.
As I’ve gotten older, I have felt less positive about the heat. I grew up in Arizona and I didn’t think much about the heat. I’d run around barefoot in my neighborhood, staying outside until the sun disappeared past the horizon. I had tan skin and white hair. Then I moved to Colorado and I missed the heat like an old friend I never imagined I would one day lose.
Now I hate the heat. I hate sweating from doing nothing. I hate being weighed down by the weather. I hate not being able to breathe. I hate the endless, hot days that feel like years with no rain. I hate that summer leaves as fast as it arrives. I hate that my old friend has become my enemy.
Three months long at all. Though it extends by a little in spring and autumn, this summer wind never fully cools down the long days.
Lower left side of my mouth,
right if I’m staring into a mirror.
It’s all in my head,
it only aches when I’m out of ideas.
When I’m writing, reading, watching tv, or eating,
there’s no pain.
As if I’m in a bad dream.
But I’m awake because I can feel
my teeth clenching.
As if it’s telling me to be productive
instead of wasting the day