When Lies Become Truth, Keep Calling out the Lie

When they don’t like something

they kick you out and throw away the key.

When they don’t like you

they call you a bad person because of your qualities.

When things bad things happen

supporters will rally around you.

When freedom of speech is tested

the people will fight back by calling out the wrongs.

 

Lies are now seen as a perfectly

good option for speaking your mind.

We teach kids that lying is bad

and yet, we have our government hiding the truth.

We have social media platforms

covering up their mistakes instead of making them right.

Thinking about themselves first

and the customers, citizens of earth, second.

 

When did spreading falsehoods become acceptable?

When did we look the other way to red flags?

When did we become the adults we tell our children not to be?

When did lies become another word for truth?

When will adults be held accountable for what they say?

 

This is not normal.

This time we’re living in isn’t the norm.

Don’t get used to it.

Don’t become desensitized.

When lies become truth,

keep calling out the lie.

 

Vote

Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th. Vote today November 6th.

THIS IS A REMINDER THAT MIDTERMS ARE TODAY. IF YOU’RE NOT REGISTERED AND YOU CAN STILL DO SO, PLEASE DO! IF YOU’RE NOT REGISTERED AND REGISTRATION HAS CLOSED, PLEASE ENCOURAGE SOMEONE WHO IS TO VOTE TOMORROW!! THIS ELECTION IS IMPORTANT! I CANNOT TELL YOU WHO YOU SHOULD VOTE FOR BUT THINK ABOUT WHERE THE COUNTRY IS AT AND CONSIDER HOW YOUR PERSPECTIVE MAY HAVE CHANGED IN THE LAST TWO YEARS AFTER ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED. IF IT HASN’T, I PROBABLY CAN’T CHANGE YOUR MIND. BUT IF YOU HAVE BEEN MOVED OR SHAKEN UP BY THE EVENTS THAT HAVE HAPPENED SINCE THE CURRENT PRESIDENT WAS ELECTED, PLEASE GET OUT THERE AND VOTE. YOUR VOICE MATTERS. YOUR VOICE IS IMPORTANT. IF YOU WANT TO SEE CHANGE IN THIS COUNTRY, PLEASE GET OUT AND VOTE TODAY, TUESDAY  NOVEMBER SIXTH!

Image result for jenny holzer rejoice

Meeting in the Middle

As many people have stated, we’re living in difficult times. There seems to be a shooting more often than not and nothing is being done to stop these vile people from carrying out these terrible attacks. I was overhearing what was happening on the news the other day since I don’t watch it anymore, and I heard Don Lemon say something along the lines of, “if the gun laws don’t change, if this division continues, this will be the end of America as we know it.” Those words should not be taken lightly.

I go to church to write. I don’t know why but I find peace being able to hear someone speak about something while I sit in the audience writing. I normally never bring my phone in because it’s a distraction. But lately, I’ve been wondering if I should bring my phone in for safety. After what happened last Saturday in Pennslyvania, the next day, I sat in the car in the church parking lot for a good minute or so debating with myself on whether or not I should bring in my phone. Ultimately, I decided against it because it will only be a distraction. But the fact that I even have to consider bringing my phone is jarring.

I don’t have the answers but I have many questions. And as the days continue to bring more uncertainty and terror in this country, the list of questions grow. I don’t understand why our government hasn’t made more of an effort to pass gun control laws to protect the next generation from senseless violence. I don’t understand why we choose to focus on differences instead of similarities. I don’t understand why the anger and divide in this country are so apparent when we have so many obvious problems. I don’t understand why our government isn’t acting on changing laws when innocent people are losing their lives. I understand the Republican party has fundamental differences than the Democrats. I understand that nothing will be done to fix this problem with them being the majority in our government. I understand that our differences are seen as deal breakers.

We can believe in different things and still find a way to meet in the middle.

Stumbles in Speech

I am a person who stutters. I’ve stuttered my entire life. I’ve been in speech therapy. I’ve taken medication to help reduce my stutter. I’ve lied to myself, saying that I don’t have a stutter.

My stutter hasn’t gone away. I’m now 25 and I still stutter. Some people grow out of their stutter. I’m not one of those people. Stuttering isn’t curable. I don’t stutter because I’m anticipating a word. I’m focused on what I’m saying, not how I say. Repeating words in my mind three times before I say it out loud is unrealistic. There are too many conversations in a day to repeat everything I say in my head three times before speaking. I avoided eye contact for years because I was scared of seeing how people may react to my stutter. That fear is real but taking back the power allows me to determine how I feel about myself and not anyone else.

For those of you who don’t know, I’m referring to the advice Steve Harvey gave a woman who stutters on his show a couple of weeks ago. I find this video from an article posted by the American Institute for Stuttering that highlights the dangers of Mr. Harvey’s advice. While a lot of the speech therapy I had as a kid wasn’t helpful, this was partly because I wasn’t willing to acknowledge my stutter. As an adult, I have begun to accept my stutter and with the help of AIS, I see my stutter in a new light.

Everyone who stutters has a different relationship to their stutter because no two people stutter the same. Many of the people who stutter as a kid grows out of it by the time they reach adulthood. It’s not uncommon for a person to stutter as a kid and not as an adult. I know that for me, my stutter can shift within a moment. Heightened emotions and situations certainly play a part in how I stutter. I know that my story is a little bit different because I took medication as a teenager to have my stutter “go away.” I spent the majority of my high school and early college years not worrying about my speech. At one point, I even thought I had grown out of it. But when I went off the medication, my stutter came back within a couple of months.

There’s no cure for stuttering. Techniques such as repeating the word in your head before you say it can easily fail. Talking to yourself in a mirror is like talking to yourself any time of the day, you don’t stutter because there’s no stress. It’s not all in your head because stuttering can be caused by much more than just anticipation and sometimes anticipation causes the stutter to go away. It’s not about how much confidence you do or don’t have. It’s not about what you do or don’t tell yourself to get through the day.

Again, this is only from my perspective. There’s no one size fits all for stuttering because everyone who stutters, stutters differently than the person next to them who stutters. Applying a one size fits all method, especially from someone who’s stutter went away, is dangerous because many people stutter their entire lives. And that’s okay.

 

Unexpected Detours

I’ve been blogging for a few years now. And if I’m being honest, some weeks I don’t know what I should write about. I used to plan out what I would say but now I just wing it the day of. I know I should be better at planning things and get back into the habit of knowing what I want to say before I say it.

This isn’t a post about a struggle of blogging or writer’s block. It’s about feeling exhausted and tired after a long day and you choose not to write or post anything on the designated day. It’s about realizing that planning to do something doesn’t always work in your favor. Sometimes, life has a funny way of changing your plans with unexpected detours.

Two weeks ago, I woke up experiencing double vision. Tuesday I was feeling fine. Wednesday morning, I was seeing double and having eye pain. For the last two weeks, I’ve either had eye double or strain in one or both of my eyes. I’ve gone to multiple doctors, had an MRI, and been poked more times than I prefer. And I still don’t have a definite answer.

I think the most frustrating part about it is being told different things by different doctors. The neurologist ophthalmologist says one thing, the endocrinologist says another. It’s a lot of back and forth. Right now, the thinking is this could be caused by my thyroid. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s back in February. The neurologist ophthalmologist is pretty certain that my eye problem is caused by Graves’. I got a blood test to see if this is the case. It’s strange because the blood test I got last month and last week for my Hashimoto’s didn’t show any signs of Graves’.

Right now, I don’t know what’s causing this. The endocrinologist says Hashimoto’s can cause eye problems while the neurologist ophthalmologist says it’s very rare for Hashimoto’s to cause eye problems. Until I get the results of my blood test results, I have no way of knowing one way or the other. On Monday, I was at the neurologist ophthalmologist for a good three hours, which pretty much exhausted me for the day, hence why I didn’t post on Monday.

Writing is therapy for me. It allows me to write the thoughts that have been circling in my head for the last two weeks.  I’ve been reading a lot more, both books and articles. I’ve been leaning on what makes me happy. Playing with my cat, watching Friends and This Is Us. I know I will be okay. If this is indeed thyroid related, it can take six months or longer for this to go away. That’s a long time but I’ve learned that time moves faster the older I get.

#MeToo, One Year Later

One year ago, I was in a hotel room in New York City, about to leave and take the N train from 42nd street to 23rd street to see the Flatiron building, when I got a notification on my phone from CNN. There was a breaking story on Harvey Weinstein in the New Yorker. The story was by Ronan Farrow and it broke down many tricks and avenues he would take to manipulate and take advantage of women. I showed my mom the headline and she shrugged, continuing to get ready for the day. I sat down on the bed and scrolled through the story, getting chills on my arm from every account I read.

One year ago, I didn’t know the magnitude this story would have on our society. No one did. After so many years in power of Hollywood, no one knew the significant impact the fall of Harvey Weinstein would have our society. No one had seen a man fall from grace this hard and this fast. No one realized that he was the first of many who would follow in his footsteps. I was too preoccupied with seeing the Flatiron building before the remnants of Hurricane Nate rolling through New York to focus on our society breaking into two. A few hours after receiving the notification, I became overly preoccupied with trying to get home through the shitty weather.

It wasn’t until the next day when I was sitting in the hallway, waiting to go into my last class of the day that I understood how this Weinstein story hit a spark in the universe, creating an explosion of women sharing their stories. I was seeing people using the #MeToo on Twitter and Facebook. The more stories I read, the more I felt less alone while at the same time becoming angry by the fact of how common this is and how it took a hashtag for so many women to share their stories public. I was hesitant about sharing my story and after lots of trepidation, I wrote two poems about how the actions of careless boys have impacted my life.

One year has passed since #MeToo spoke to the zeitgeist in a way no one could have ever predicted. We have opened a door we can never close again. One year later, we’re listening to women’s stories and believing what they share, yet we don’t believe them enough to change the old patterns of human history.

Believe Women & Believe Survivors

I’ve been trying to think about how to write this post all day. Last week, this country went through a roller coaster of emotions with the Senate Hearings. Watching Dr. Ford give her testimony and answer questions was emotional for me and many women around the country. She’s an amazing woman for being brave and sharing her story. I cried several times because I, along with a lot of America, could see how the traumatic events she suffered many years ago has impacted her life. It was evident that she did experience a tragic event, whether or not it was by the man she claims is decided from whatever “side” you’re on. I believe what Dr. Ford said. I believe any woman or man who comes forward because it’s a very difficult thing to reveal. It’s not easy and everyone who has experienced a sexual assault or harassment gets to decide whether or not they want to share their stories. The fact that women are being heard and beginning to be taken seriously is a baby step on the long road we still have to go on. Believe women when they speak out. Believe survivors when they speak up. They deserve to be heard and believed.