Happiness is

a good book
my niece's laugh
the sound of the ocean
the color of flowers
phases of the moon
music I play on repeat
fuzzy socks on a cold morning
first cup of coffee
a healthy smoothie
quiet hours
long conversations
big questions with no answers
accepting things wholeheartedly
finishing a poem

Intuition

Drowning out the noise of the day,
trying to exist without getting lost
in the ocean of my own thoughts.
I seek beauty, make stories in my head,
dance out the darkness until it
no longer enraptures my every step.
I'm okay, I say, I'm okay.
These are the days where I'm beginning
to believe my own words.

In-between the cracks of an open window

I spy a bird in the distance on a rooftop 
signals of summer in the air
heat manifests in rooms
with no a/c, the east coast
living drips down my skin
I listen to the morning
my morning coffee going cold
a book resting on my keyboard
places there when I took this photo
inspiring a poem through an open window.

Internal Landscapes

A David Gray album is my soundtrack
as the tides change in my brain
as the days are shifting, blossoming.
I am in the process of mourning
the part of me that’s helped me
survive up until now. I love her dearly
but in the process of growth, I must
let her go. My body aches at her
departure, for it’s unbalanced 
in the present. I am responsible
for my own healing, for re-parenting
the parts of my psyche that act
in childish ways. Maybe one day
I will believe myself when I say
I am okay. Until then, I continue
to draw words in the sand, trying to
build a healthy ladder in
these foreign internal landscapes,
hoping one day the positive dialogue 
will drown out the negativity 
assumptions I held onto for so long.

Technicolor

I love how the pink flowers contrast perfectly with the deep blue cloudless morning sky. Appreciation of beauty takes a second of your day but can lighten your mood and remind you of some of the ways in which change can be lovely. It’s the small details that have the deepest impact. We walk in and out of stores without taking a moment to notice the way nature has changed around us. Too wrapped up in the drama of our lives or the sea of our thoughts too dense to be processed by others. I love photographing flowers because they’re only around for small pockets of time. Momentary seasons of life filled with specific details externally that we overlook because it’s normalized to the point of obscurity. Noticing blooming flowers adds nothing but joy if you choose to see the day in technicolor.

Perspective

From the mountain top, by the grave,
I zoom into see the sea and the water tower 
I grew up throwing rocks at - 
the ripple sounds that blasts through
the space upon impact sticks out
in my memory. Zoom! Zoom into make sense
of the beautiful place I’ve always
felt safe but can now wander around
as timelines between past and present 
roll along parallel lines in my thoughts.
I am 7, climbing in the tide pools,
I am 14, texting a boy I like 
on the beach. I am 23, recounting 
memories of my grandfather with
my grandmother as I feel their love
still lives within her. I am 32, 
on a mountain, gaining
perspective of how quietly a place
can gently hold so many emotions 
all at once.

Secret Garden

Before the trees form leaves,
bright daffodils sprout in
the most unexpected place.
Off a ledge, forms a secret garden,
by the river, may they bloom.
This becomes a little sanctuary, 
surrounding of nature allows
for the passing of days
to be blissful.

For Aunt Liz.