this time of year

I try to remember to breathe
not to let these moments 
slip past me. Not overeating 
at dinner because I know
the leftovers will be just as good
if not better. Having memorable
conversations, remembering that 
everyone is going through
their own things and 
feelings are valid,
including my own. 
The older I get, the quicker
time moves. We were just 
at Thanksgiving suddenly time
decided to speed up and bring us
back here faster than I could 
understand. I keep telling people, 
we were just here,
weren't we? They nod. 
The human experience
with holidays and time is 
that it comes back around
faster than we realize. 
One moment it was winter,
then spring. Some of us
are still grieving
the end of summer and
that's okay. The shorter days
do not help in the passing of time,
especially on long days.
Breathe, remember to breathe. 

wordless day

I stayed in the mountains 
spent some time by myself 
to read and write and relax
silence scared me or so I thought 
pushing back the noise of every day life 
to embrace to silence of a still room 
made me uncomfortable at first
I finished a few books and
scribbled down a couple of poems 
I found my creativity in the silence
I cannot recall the last time
a single word didn’t come
out of my mouth for a whole day  
by the end I realized how much 
I embraced the silence of being
by myself without feeling lonely

the height of spooky season

the halloween candy is all gone
the shelves are bare
the last minute shoppers 
kick themselves for not
buying in it sooner 
the holiday section will be
christmas themed by tomorrow 

tonight kids and teenagers roam 
the neighborhood streets 
in-search of king-sized candy 
wearing costumes many
adults do not understand
for the children television
references have evolved 
since the last time 
they had small 
children in their lives 
a sign time is moving forward 

as the chill of mid-fall 
falls on the evening, 
soon the clocks will change 
once more making it dark 
even earlier than before 
though all of the halloween 
candy will be gone by then 
consumed by the children
quicker than the parents
would have liked

dentist ptsd

I ground myself
in the chair
pushing the thoughts
out of my mind
as best I can
knowing they’re forever
ingrained in my body
I shake
I cry
makes me feel safe
makes me laugh
I don’t always 
have to live
in the past
the present can 
be a little joyful
mostly bearable
a necessary
part of being human
taking care of 
my body knowing
the process will 
be uncomfortable.

Moon in Full

October’s chill hits my skin.
I step out into the night,
my barefoot on the cold wood.
Moon so crystal clear, so pretty, so bright.
I gasp at the sight of the shine.
How clearly I can make out its craters.
It reminds me of the midday sun.
I try to snap a photo but my phone 
lense cannot do this view justice.

autumnal equinox

the crisp clung in the midwest air
as the wind blew slightly cool.
autumn arrived over night,
driving from one state to another,
the change in weather marked
the beginning of fall layers.
the clouds moved in and by night,
rain was covering the road.
red wine and dancing was mixed
with cozy blankets and 
short conversations
with people I hadn't seen
in three years, before life
as we had known it changed.
what brings us together
on chilly autumn nights,
a celebration of love,
appreciating those who
I have known the longest.

classic cold

I am calm in my body
I listen to my body
I stay low
I stay quiet
I drink a lot of tea
I do not drink caffeine 
I take a lot of honey
I nap
I read my book
I nap some more
I sneeze
I cough
I sneeze again
I cough again
I take a Covid test
I do not have Covid 
I feel a change in my body
I feel my nose is stuffy
I notice my voice is raspy 
I do not like talking
I breathe
I meditate 
I stay quiet
I wear a mask in public
I hydrate
I hydrate
I hydrate
I nap
I drink more tea
I take DayQuil 
I take NyQuil 
I take another Covid test
I do not have Covid
I have a classic cold
I sneeze
I cough
I am slowly recovering 

misty rain on saturday

When you enter a place of stillness, you awaken the divinity within you.

Peggy Sealfon
hiding from the chill
of early september
under the 
pile of blankets
in my bed
fuzzy socks on
my cold feet
I reread a book
I first read
in college
misty rain on saturday
cozy day inside
my body is still
my mind is full

Read my piece On Turning 29