I end the year feeling achy. This has been a time Filled with much personal growth It’s hard work to look in the mirror And understand my patterns. Connect the dots of the past So I no longer feel numb. My emotions I suppressed for so long. I can be so mean to myself- A subconscious habit that became White noise in my brain decades ago. Through all this digging, I feel hope. This time last year, and the year before, And so on and so forth, I was numb. As I am writing this, I am thawing. Sometimes I can freeze but I am learning How not to repeat history, How to do things differently. Not only am I trying to Become a better version of myself, I am becoming a better person Who gives herself credit For feeling all the things. To embrace all the hard Uncomfortable feelings And show them love, not shame. I’ve always known I am different, It’s learning how to accept myself again and again and again. Turning down the inner critic Who has nothing new Or interesting to say. I’ve heard it all before anyway.
Kelly Severseike 