Simple Observations

Two people share a connection 
when their eyes meet.
Everyone who is watching
wonder what could be going on.
Is this fate or planned?
Are what we seeing an illusion
or a true moment?
What is authentic
and what is for the cameras?
People who don't understand acting
can't comprehend what they're seeing
as anything less than true love.
Coincidences are the universe
trying to tell humans the truth
through simple observations.
Keep your eyes open.

Driving at Night as Lights Fall

I'm driving down familiar streets hours after the sun has set. 
My eyes cause the lights to shift beyond the darkness.
Streetlights drop below the actual light and hover,
falling in mid-air. The lights at the intersection
have the same motion, falling into two without
dropping to the road below. The brake lights on the car
in front of me look like they're melting off onto the bumper.
The headlights of the cars heading in the other direction
appear to be reflecting off a mirror on the dry road.
The more lights I see, the more my reality feels
like a weird dream out of Dr. Seuss' mind.
The lights unable to stay whole in my eyes
cause an illusion to occur that only I'm seeing.
An uneasy feeling arises in my stomach.
I realize if I focus on nothing in particular,
the lights calm a bit as they continue to hover in the night.

The Construct of Silence

I used to be uncomfortable 
with silence among others.
Sitting and not saying a single
word was my personal hell.
To be honest, it still can be.
Why aren't they saying anything?
Is it that hard to start a conversation?
Say, hi.....no, that's too much.

I once went on a hike
with my family, and my sister
pointed out how much
I was constantly filling the air
with my own voice.
Stop talking and enjoy the silence
was her advice to me as 
we were descending the
mountain (hill).

I didn't know how to do
that, for I didn't realize
how much I was talking.
I was resisting the quiet
humans often label as
"awkward silence."

Since that eyeopening
moment,  I've become more
comfortable with hearing nothing
when with a group of people.
The natural instinct is to say
something because we deem
it's better than saying nothing
and feeling uncomfortable
about losing precious time.

I've been building awareness
about feeling comfortable
with the uncomfortableness
that comes along
with the construct of silence.
Silence in my car
alone with my thoughts
is another monster I have yet
to tackle. 

When the radio doesn't work,
I become annoyed.
I'd rather hear something
with a beat than listen
to the same worries
on repeat.
My thoughts are jumbled,
writing allows me to straighten
them out.

Conquering silence is a lifelong
battle between being
unaware of how much you're
saying to fill the air
to being too aware
that any sound
can make you question
who is actually there,
listening to the buzzing
in your brain when the radio
isn't working.

Surface Thoughts

I watch my cat watch the tv, every time a dog comes on the screen, his pupils get big, I wonder what goes through his mind, what must he be thinking, is the time he fell out the window from the second floor playing in his head, what is a cat’s memory, does he remember the season where he could go outside, can he tell when the night arrives sooner in the day, I try to read his mind, my thoughts come up with options but no conclusions, he will always be a mystery to me, the night is slowly beginning to be pushed back in the day, the new year has flipped forward once more, these thoughts have no home in my head, they come and go in one moment to the next, the ones I captured in this post are ones that come back from long ago, they only appear when I’m grasping for inspiration to write anything, what to write when I have no prompt, nothing to say, avoiding writing something that I’ll give into eventually, I have these thoughts to share with you, the lingering surface thoughts that mask the layered ones, my cat is on the couch beside me, sleeping, afraid of the dog who is staying with us, the dog who encouraged him to fall out the window, with only a small tree to ease his fall, the dog is calm but my cat shakes like a leaf in my arms and hisses at her like he’s facing his worst nightmare when she’s near, he’s purring now, the tv is paused, exhaustion crashes into me like a wave, but I know if I swim now, I will just end up floating on the surface, lost in my thoughts, staring up at the sky that’s fading into the night.

Crisp in the Air

It’s been fall for two days and I can already feel

the crisp in the air. It makes the hair on my arms

stand up. I breathe in deep breaths to take as much

as this magic in as I can. This is my favorite time of

year because it’s gone in a blink of an eye. It’s delicate,

for this beauty comes from the change of leaving the

earth. Orange leaves stay on the grass until they

get raked up on the weekend.

Autumn Leaves in Later Summer

2018-09-15 17:55:10.805

Walking through the woods, I admire the changing leaves

on the aspen trees. It looks like fall but feels like summer.

I take off my sweater and look at the view that’s similar to

the moon. Wide open space with very little human life

equates to the feeling of being on another planet. The leaves

look like their on fire as the orange color burns the naked

eye. When I reach the top, I look out to see hills and mountains

filled with fire leaves. The hills are alive with the sound of

music plays in my head while I catch my breath.

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Motion Sickness on a Flight

Thousands of feet up in the air,

I’m trapped in this metal tube.

I feel dizzy and I’m not spinning.

Overheated from the lack of air circulation.

Head throbbing that will eventually turn into a migraine after I land.

I close my eyes and the spinning becomes faster.

Minutes move along like hours.

I can’t read the book I want to read.

I can’t look at my phone for longer than 5 seconds,

Just long enough to change the song.

I look forward to the blue chair in front of me.

Nothing is working.

The amount of feeling awful comes in waves.

I sleep for a minute or two, just enough to numb the nauseousness

before the turbulence causes the spinning to return.

I feel like I’m going to throw up but I know I won’t.

I don’t get physically sick from motion sickness.

I just feel awful as my mood plummets to the ground we’re flying over.

I repeat these words in my head because I can’t write this down.

I’m hoping I will remember this when I do.