Crisp in the Air

It’s been fall for two days and I can already feel

the crisp in the air. It makes the hair on my arms

stand up. I breathe in deep breaths to take as much

as this magic in as I can. This is my favorite time of

year because it’s gone in a blink of an eye. It’s delicate,

for this beauty comes from the change of leaving the

earth. Orange leaves stay on the grass until they

get raked up on the weekend.

Autumn Leaves in Later Summer

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Walking through the woods, I admire the changing leaves

on the aspen trees. It looks like fall but feels like summer.

I take off my sweater and look at the view that’s similar to

the moon. Wide open space with very little human life

equates to the feeling of being on another planet. The leaves

look like their on fire as the orange color burns the naked

eye. When I reach the top, I look out to see hills and mountains

filled with fire leaves. The hills are alive with the sound of

music plays in my head while I catch my breath.

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Motion Sickness on a Flight

Thousands of feet up in the air,

I’m trapped in this metal tube.

I feel dizzy and I’m not spinning.

Overheated from the lack of air circulation.

Head throbbing that will eventually turn into a migraine after I land.

I close my eyes and the spinning becomes faster.

Minutes move along like hours.

I can’t read the book I want to read.

I can’t look at my phone for longer than 5 seconds,

Just long enough to change the song.

I look forward to the blue chair in front of me.

Nothing is working.

The amount of feeling awful comes in waves.

I sleep for a minute or two, just enough to numb the nauseousness

before the turbulence causes the spinning to return.

I feel like I’m going to throw up but I know I won’t.

I don’t get physically sick from motion sickness.

I just feel awful as my mood plummets to the ground we’re flying over.

I repeat these words in my head because I can’t write this down.

I’m hoping I will remember this when I do.

Internet Trolls & Hateful Critiques

Last week, I watched a live stream on Instagram. A teenage girl named Lilia Buckingham was crying because of the hate she received after tweeting how she’s worried about writing a screenplay because she doesn’t know how she would fund the movie. People came after her for tweeting this because from how it looks through the filter of Instagram, it appears to some that she could just ask her parents for the money to make the film. This is not the case. Yes, it’s first world problems. But that doesn’t make the hate Lilia received any less real to her. Hateful words leave lasting remarks. Constructive criticism and hateful comments are two different things. You can express your criticism in a way that’s not personally attacking someone for sharing their thoughts on something they’re working on. When you put something out into the universe, more than likely someone is going to have an opinion on it. It’s life. I don’t know why Internet trolls attack people for the most mundane things. But they do and words can trigger emotions that can be damaging for a person. Online bullying has become normalized thanks to social media. People write hateful things they would never speak aloud because they’re behind a computer. I don’t know how social media companies should combat the hateful rhetoric shared on their platforms every single day. What I do know is that hating on what people say instead of doing it in a thoughtful, productive way says a lot about humanity and where we are as a society. If the person in the White House can attack people via his tweets and get away with it, what hope does that leave for the rest of us?

Toothache

Lower left side of my mouth,

right if I’m staring into a mirror.

 

It’s all in my head,

it only aches when I’m out of ideas.

 

When I’m writing, reading, watching tv, or eating,

there’s no pain.

 

None.

As if I’m in a bad dream.

 

But I’m awake because I can feel

my teeth clenching.

 

Weirdest sensation.

As if it’s telling me to be productive

 

instead of wasting the day

procrastinating.

Breaking the Connection

I pass by a window where color is fading from

the sky in the west. I glance at the view but don’t stop.

The shift from day to night happens twice every day.

Somedays I’m more interested in the sunset.

Tonight, I’m not.  My mind has me lost in other things.

Thoughts constantly being questioned and rewritten

a hundred different ways. I’m always working

on something. These mundane moments clutter

my days. I’m more aware of what I do to distract

myself. These distractions can be obsessive.

I’m trying to change my bad habits.

Limiting my time on social media.

Blocking sites for a certain amount of time.

Leaving my phone in another room.

Allowing myself distance to create new thoughts.

Thoughts that don’t revolve around current events.

Where I can create a moment in my head that

I will forget before I can write it down. Letting myself

wander without any restrictions gives me the freedom

to narrate my thoughts without thinking about what’s next.