When the clouds come
overhead in the afternoon,
remember that all days
cannot be sunshine and blue skies.
You can't expect perfection
when you know there will be rain.
It's okay, you can't hear all
the good news you want in one day.
Lower left side of my mouth,
right if I’m staring into a mirror.
It’s all in my head,
it only aches when I’m out of ideas.
When I’m writing, reading, watching tv, or eating,
there’s no pain.
As if I’m in a bad dream.
But I’m awake because I can feel
my teeth clenching.
As if it’s telling me to be productive
instead of wasting the day
I pass by a window where color is fading from
the sky in the west. I glance at the view but don’t stop.
The shift from day to night happens twice every day.
Somedays I’m more interested in the sunset.
Tonight, I’m not. My mind has me lost in other things.
Thoughts constantly being questioned and rewritten
a hundred different ways. I’m always working
on something. These mundane moments clutter
my days. I’m more aware of what I do to distract
myself. These distractions can be obsessive.
I’m trying to change my bad habits.
Limiting my time on social media.
Blocking sites for a certain amount of time.
Leaving my phone in another room.
Allowing myself distance to create new thoughts.
Thoughts that don’t revolve around current events.
Where I can create a moment in my head that
I will forget before I can write it down. Letting myself
wander without any restrictions gives me the freedom
to narrate my thoughts without thinking about what’s next.