I’m surrounded by people. I do not speak. I half-listen as my mind bounces around from one thought to another. I catch words here and there. I clap and don’t realize I’m clapping. Awareness allows me to settle into the moment. It takes several tries and I’m still not sure I got it. I check my phone. I turn off my phone. I adjust my purse that’s resting on my leg. I try to make sense of what is said. When I recognize a word, I understand begin to get it. I get down on myself for not being more educated. I spiral, come back, and adjust within a moment. I settle in, sip some water, and laugh when it’s appropriate. My stomach gurgles. I decide to wait until this is over to eat. I grasp what I want to hear and continue on my way. I’m now talking and somehow unaware of my words. My mind has wandered off, only vaguely keeping tabs on the conversation. When I walk away, I realize I spoke too much, I remind myself to be mindful to allow my mind to stay present. The more I'm aware, the easier I can find a balance. This is what I tell myself, hoping it will one day stick.