Lost Dog

Nights spent waiting for the dog to bark again. He’s lost his center to the dark. I wake up at two three four in the morning and try to get him to calm down. For someone with anxiety, I don’t do a good job at comforting him. I’m short with him, I yell, I getContinue reading “Lost Dog”

It’s Been A Minute

The seasons have changed once again somehow I’ve missed it. I didn’t enjoy the autumn leaves like I normally do. And winter…well, winter came and went, the lack of snowstorms made time move faster than the average year. I can tell it’s spring by my stuffy nose and puffy eyes, I always forget I haveContinue reading “It’s Been A Minute”

End of the Year Observations

The noise that overtook my thoughts slowly faded into a gentle silence. The cat purred in my presence as he drifted off into dreams. Christmas lights hung from the trees lit up the warm winter nights. One text distracted me from my anxiety. Anticipation for a moment was worse than the moment itself. We’re almostContinue reading “End of the Year Observations”

Thoughts I Had at Sunset Cliffs

The other day, I walked around Sunset Cliffs and people-watched. Here are some of the thoughts I had while I was there. These people on the rocks were jumping in then somehow getting back up on the rocks. I wouldn’t jump in but I watched in awe from afar at those who felt brave enoughContinue reading “Thoughts I Had at Sunset Cliffs”

Both Things Can Be True

For so many years, I lived in fear of what other people have to say. I was always afraid of what could happen if I spoke my truth. If I shared something, what would people think? What would they say? What would the inevitable response be? Recently, I realized it doesn’t matter what other peopleContinue reading “Both Things Can Be True”

What I’ve Been Clicking On – Part 4

“Alison, can you explain what Internet is?” This donkey is reunited with the girl who raised it. Kristen Radtke Considers Another American Epidemic: Loneliness This Bodega Cat This Is Us in Chronological Order A tweet that made me laugh. Ariana Grande’s Beautiful Wedding Your Friend Doesn’t Want the Vaccine. What Do You Say? Tidbits fromContinue reading “What I’ve Been Clicking On – Part 4”

Self-Love

Noun. I’m no longer willing to sit in my past watching everything I did wrong pass by me. Instead of feeling shame, I’m choosing love. It’s a choice that has to be made often but it gets easier the more I’m aware of how I’m talking to myself. I’m choosing to give myself love byContinue reading “Self-Love”

What I’ve Been Clicking On – Part 3

Oliva Rodrigo’s Sour Oprah and Prince Harry’s Apple TV+ show about mental health. Camila Cabello and Shawn Mendes’ Calm Series This incredible conversation with Brene Brown and Ashley C. Ford. This insightful conversation between Prince Harry on Armchair Expert. Demi Lovato coming out as non-binary This photo of Milo Ventimiglia directing an episode of ThisContinue reading “What I’ve Been Clicking On – Part 3”

Ten Years

I recently came across a photo I posted on Facebook ten years ago. I took the photo on Photo Booth ten days before getting jaw surgery. It’s clear in the photo how prominent my lower jaw was in front of my upper jaw. I had a mouth full of braces, that’s why I’m not smiling.Continue reading “Ten Years”

Cycles

Noun. This is how I experience a cycle of anxiety. It’s when my body senses danger, and my mind springs into action. It happens in a split second, even when there’s no danger to be found. I become distant from my thoughts. It’s like I’m watching a movie that plays the same scene on repeat.Continue reading “Cycles”