Message From the Sea

Look out when you get the chance
Until you can’t see me past the horizon
On sunny days in quiet seasons
I sit in my car by the sidewalk
Glancing towards the infinite direction
Waiting for time to pass
Coming back to myself
Losing another moment to old habits
Each day is different
Some lessons have to be continually learned
Meeting myself with love, not shame
Watching the sea take itself out
Letting me know all the different versions
Of myself come back at different times 
Reminding me of how far I’ve come
And inspiring me to share this with you

Grooves

Written on 11/15/2024 at 4:40 PM

The grooves we get into
Shape who we are
The patterns we form
The cycles we continue
Changing them takes patience
Try and try again
You only give up when you die
So breathe in the salt air
And chase the moonrise
Stay for the sunset
Look in awe at the portrait
In the sky not minding
The cold air on your ankles
This wasn’t planned
It doesn’t matter
Only these times
Being present
Finding laughter 
The beauty of changing
The grooves the tide
Is coming in now
It will be alright

The Tide Is Out

Once again, history repeats
Like clockwork I am 23 again
Feeling rage at the reality
Only now I am 31 and unsure
Of how this monumental shift
Will change us as humans.
How I wasn’t listening,
I was too busy looking the other way
To see the water had gone out, again.
The blue changes shade depending on 
The direction of the sun.
I walk on grooved sand
I am brought back to now
The wind blowing my hair
The waves overpowering
The feelings boiling up inside me.

Written on 11/8/2024 at 11:27 AM

The Poem I Wrote Before I Cried

Written on 11/6/2024 at 11:19 PM

Sadness hugs me like a warm blanket
I don’t understand how I got here
All day I’ve been wandering around thinking,
Not again?! How is this happening??
Someone asked me if I had a good day,
I paused then lied and said yes because in that moment
I realized I was in shock and couldn’t understand
How anyone could be having a good day on this day.
But many keep on and carry on with their lives.
They accept what is and move on. I accept what is,
But I can still be sad about how things panned out.
Allow me and those who are sad to grieve
The loss of what could have been.
I worry for the women I know and love,
I worry for every human who is seen
As less than by the law and who live in fear
When they themselves aren’t hurting anyone,
Who are scared to live authentically,
To love who they love or be who they are
Without fear of harm from those who oppose.
I worry for future generations,
We will have to be the ones dealing with
The consequences of these times
When the older generations are long gone.
I worry for the earth continuing to warm
And what that means for our society.
I worry for the intelligence and the state of education
In this country, how false information can be believed
So quickly. I am not telling you what to believe in,
Believe how you may in whatever brings you peace.
I want to believe people are kind and care
About everyone but maybe I was too quick
In imagining we had gone more forward than we had.
We’re going back into the past, sometimes a lesson has
To be learned twice for it to stick. 
The outcome is done, it is what it is, I don’t understand
How anyone could think this is the right direction
But that’s neither here nor there now. 
Maybe once the shock wears off, I’ll be able
To process this gravity shift we’re experiencing. 
Maybe I’ll be able to cry but for now,
Another glass of wine.
Some exceptions can be made
In trying times.

Mundane Details

In our busy lives, 
we take things for granted.
Mundane details fall through the cracks 
as we’re too focused on getting through.
The day, week, month, year.
Time blurs together and gets 
mixed in memories.
It takes gravity shifts 
to come back down to earth.
Losing someone, losing something, 
reminders of how precious today is.
How everything could be gone tomorrow.
To soak up the mundane 
details and spread them out.
Being aware of them allows you 
to appreciate them 
not just sweep them under the rug.
A cozy blanket, 
birds singing in autumn, 
sun rays in your eyes, 
partly blinding you for a time.
The fabric that makes up 
the present will be forgotten
but held you for a time in your life
while you were too busy rushing out the door.
Slow down, you’re alive,
you’re too busy fighting time.

Speedometer

The day before I got sick, I went for a walk.
A jaunt, some might say.
I wanted to see the autumn leaves,
while basking in the summer heat.
How is it October? I thought while walking.
I looked up and admired the colors,
odd how time passes at different speeds
depending on the time of year
and where your mind is at.

Bookends of a Day

There’s nothing like a front row seat 
to the beginning and the end of a day.
Pale colors brighten in the morning 
and fade in the night.
In the morning, I take a photo of 
the day beginning, 
the way the light changes 
the shade of blue of the water.
In the evening, I try to be present 
when I able to catch the sun 
turning the clouds pink 
as it leaves for the day.
It’s a joy unlike any other,
it’s pure and geniune,
a love of the in-between 
art in the sky
bookends of a day
light up my soul.

Inner Child

Inner child 
Flower child
Lover of purple, pink,
 and daises
May life never take 
 away your innocence 
 for finding joy in 
 little things
Positivity 
 in most things
And the desire to stop 
 when seeing beautiful 
 flowers and the colorful 
 autumn leaves
There’s magic in your 
 perspective
I value it 
 more the older I get
I promise to 
 admire the moon 
 in all its phases 
 and appreciate 
 every pretty sunset 
 and sunrise I see
Because it makes me 
 happy 
 and reminds me 
 I’m alive and 
 free

See the leaves

I

There have been autumns 
where it flies by 
cause I am 
too busy 
focused on 
other things 
I regret not taking 
the moment before 
it was gone

II

I consciously go 
out of my way 
when I see 
the leaves changing 
to stop
get out of my car
take a moment
take a photo
be grateful for 
the beauty 
surrounding us 
now