Television Show Review – FX’s Pose

If you haven’t heard of Pose, you obviously haven’t been on Twitter all summer. Ryan Murphy created Pose and it’s a groundbreaking show for many reasons. For one, the story is set in 1988 New York City ballroom scene and follows trans and queer people of color as they navigate their way through life during the height of the HIV/Aids epidemic. The ballroom scene for those who don’t know is a gathering of lgbtq+ people that dress up in all sorts of costumes in hopes of winning a trophy. The people competing are separated by houses which are lgbtq+ people who have been displaced by the people in their lives and have formed families with people in the community. Balls are safe spaces, where these people who are often looked down upon by other members of society, are free to be themselves. Another reason why this show is groundbreaking is that this is the first show that dived deep into the lives of trans women of color played by actresses who are trans women of color. There are also over 150 actors who are trans on the show. The crew and writers are all made up of trans and queer people. The show also made history by having the first trans woman of color direct episode six of the first season. This show is breaking down barriers and will continue to tell empowering and inspiring stories.

 

Watch Pose on FX. 

#HowDemiHasHelpedMe

Yesterday, it was reported Demi Lovato was rushed to the hospital because of an overdose. Some were reporting it was a heroin overdose. No matter what it was, hearing this news broke my heart. I’ve been a fan of Demi’s for over a decade and her music has really helped in times where I didn’t have strength. Through her songs, I found a place where I could be vulnerable and acknowledge some of my problems I was facing at the time. She gave strength when I needed it. She was a friend when it felt like I didn’t have anyone else. Demi really helped me through some difficult times.

Last month, Demi released a song called Sober. The chorus and the last few lines left me in tears. 

Momma, I’m so sorry, I’m not sober anymore
And daddy, please forgive me for the drinks spilled on the floor
To the ones who never left me
We’ve been down this road before
I’m so sorry, I’m not sober anymore

I’m sorry that I’m here again
I promise I’ll get help
It wasn’t my intention
I’m sorry to myself

I remember where I was when I first heard this song. I was driving south, the Rocky Mountains to my right. It was a hot summer day in June and the blue sky was almost a teal color with tiny clouds scattered above me. It was a moment where I didn’t feel as though I was focused on what was ahead. I was too busy playing the song on repeat, trying to remember the moment, thinking I would one day write about it. I don’t know why I thought this. And I never thought I’d be sharing this story now.

No one knows what someone else is going through. No one knows just how deep people’s demons can drag them. No one knows what’s going on internally. It’s scary to work through your problems. It’s difficult to ask for help. Sometimes it takes going to the bottom, where you think no one can see you in order to want to begin working your way back to the light. Inner demons can do a lot of harm. Reach out to the people you love and make sure they’re okay. If you see someone struggling, ask if they’re okay or go and find someone that can help. Look out for one another.

Demi’s family released a statement saying how thankful they are for all the love and support Demi has been getting. Life is a long road that can end sooner than you think. Fortunately, Demi is still alive. My heart goes out to her and anyone who is struggling with addiction.

You’re not alone.

 

Suicide: 1-800-273-TALK

Self Harm: 1-800-366-8288

Addiction: 1-800-662-4357

Eating Disorders: 1-800-931-2237

Domestic Violence: 1-800-799-SAFE

Grief: 1-800-395-5755

Summer Wind

Summer wind is unique. Its warm feeling can either comfort us or make us want to scream. It’s different in every place and depending on how you feel about this season, the wind will either make or break you.

I tend to be indifferent towards the summer wind. Some days, it reminds me of my childhood and other days I feel as though I’m living in hell. It’s normally the latter.

As I’ve gotten older, I have felt less positive about the heat. I grew up in Arizona and I didn’t think much about the heat. I’d run around barefoot in my neighborhood, staying outside until the sun disappeared past the horizon. I had tan skin and white hair. Then I moved to Colorado and I missed the heat like an old friend I never imagined I would one day lose.

Now I hate the heat. I hate sweating from doing nothing. I hate being weighed down by the weather. I hate not being able to breathe. I hate the endless, hot days that feel like years with no rain. I hate that summer leaves as fast as it arrives. I hate that my old friend has become my enemy.

Three months long at all. Though it extends by a little in spring and autumn, this summer wind never fully cools down the long days.

Podcast Review – Still Processing

Thursday is my favorite day of the week because there’s a new episode of Still Processing waiting for me when I wake up. Jenna Wortham and Wesley Morris are the hosts of Still Processing and each week they have a conversation about culture. Queerness, music, racism, film, self-care, television shows, acceptance, technology, and Beyoncé are just some of the topics they discuss in-depth in each episode. What makes this podcast so enjoyable is the intelligent conversations Wortham and Morris have. They break down subjects and handle difficult topics with such care. After each episode, I feel as though I have learned something new because I have. Both Wortham and Morris’ perspectives are insightful and refreshingly honest. They don’t hold back as they continue to process any given subject through the conversations they share. This podcast, if you have not listened to it, tackles societies difficult questions without giving direct answers because life is complex and nothing is certain. I would recommend Still Processing to you because it helps me better understand the society we live in as well as cultures I do not experience first hand. I always feel better about what we’re going through as a country after listening to what they have to share. Wortham and Morris are the calm within the storm for me every week and I’m so grateful I found their podcast.

Click here for more information and episodes of Still Processing.

Schedule Update!

Hi everyone!

I’ve decided to switch things up a bit, at least for the foreseeable future. Instead of only posting on Mondays, I will be posting on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays! On Mondays, I will be posting a creative writing piece. On Wednesdays, I will post some kind of reflective piece of writing on either my own life or something in society. And on Fridays, I will be sharing a review on a story, film, tv show, music, article, book, poem, podcast, etc. Basically, I anything I really like and want to recommend to you!

Be on the lookout for something tomorrow!

Best,

Kelly

Toothache

Lower left side of my mouth,

right if I’m staring into a mirror.

 

It’s all in my head,

it only aches when I’m out of ideas.

 

When I’m writing, reading, watching tv, or eating,

there’s no pain.

 

None.

As if I’m in a bad dream.

 

But I’m awake because I can feel

my teeth clenching.

 

Weirdest sensation.

As if it’s telling me to be productive

 

instead of wasting the day

procrastinating.