End of the Year Observations

The noise that overtook my thoughts
slowly faded into a gentle silence.
The cat purred in my presence
as he drifted off into dreams.
Christmas lights hung from the trees
lit up the warm winter nights.
One text distracted me from my anxiety.
Anticipation for a moment was worse
than the moment itself.
We're almost in 2022,
I'm still processing 2019.

Up The Hill

I ran up the hill before the others could follow.
I held onto the leash connected to my dog.
He kept me going. It’s the only way I could get up
without feeling the air escape from my lungs.
It gave me time to move forward without thinking. 
We passed families carrying down Christmas trees,
I leaned against the side of the path.
I refused to give in to the lack of oxygen,
not until I had time to get it back, 
not until I was at the top.
We round the bend.
I collapse (sit) on a dirt hill. 
My lungs struggle to find air. I smile.
I made it to the top and now I can rest.

A Writer’s Problem

I was busy focusing on my work
when an idea leaped into my head.
It was a line for a possible poem.
I began to daydream of all the lines
that would come after. When I realized
I wasn’t in a place where I could write
it down, I told myself I’d remember it
later and I’d write it down then. Well…
later came and went and my idea
vanished from my head as soon as
I focused back at the task at hand.
I guess it wasn’t as good as I thought.

November

Tomorrow would have been my birthday
had I been born on my due date.
I'm writing this the night before thanksgiving.
It's strange to think in an alternate universe,
my birthday falls on a national holiday
every few years instead of in late August.
I think I would feel gypped if I had to
celebrate my arrival into life on a day
where everyone else is celebrating something else.
I will never know that feeling, but I think about it
more often than I'd ever admit. Not in a longing way,
I will never know the version of me
in the alternate universe.
I am not her and she is not me.

A Reminder

Saturday
Autumn arrived when I wasn't looking.
I was too busy adjusting and daydreaming
to see the beauty that was emerging around me.
I didn't feel the anticipatory feeling of my
favorite season the way I'm used to.
On Saturday, I looked out my window
and the leaves were bright yellow!
I stopped in shock and amazement at how quickly
time can move when I'm not paying attention.
A reminder from the universe -
always appreciate the beauty of the present
before it gets blown away in the wind.

Trip to Greenville

A few weeks ago, I took a day trip with my aunt and uncle up to Greenville, Maine. We drove around and had lunch near the lake at a place called the Stress Free Moose. We entered the restaurant and the bar was packed with people. On a Tuesday afternoon! We ate outside and people-watched as people and families walk in and out of the bar. Our server was a natural comedian and made us laugh throughout the meal. I had a BLT with avocado. My aunt killed a bee that landed on the table while I ran away. Afterwards, we drove around the lake and marveled at the spectacular views of Maine in early fall.

Reading By The Lake

Late September, early fall, crisp in the air. Center Pond, Maine, late-afternoon. I sit by the lake with a jacket and boots on, kindle in my hand. The leaves across the way are changing. The slight breeze in the air drops the temperature, but the sun blaring in my eyes allows some warmth to stay. This is my happy place. This is where I’ve been waiting two years to be. I’m here once again. I’ve never heard quiet so loud. I could hear a leaf fall feet away from me. I read a few chapters of one book before switching to another. This is the perfect reading place.

Quiet Plane Ride

I never realized how quiet plane rides are until recently. I took an early morning flight last Saturday. The plane wasn’t full. All the passengers were told to spread out. I sat by a window and pulled down the shade. A woman sat by the aisle, leaving the middle seat free. I spent the two hour flight drifting in and out of sleep. There was turbulence but I was too tired to worry. The plane jerked around. My body remained in a zen state when awake. My mind didn’t register the movement as alarming, just a normal part of flying up high. The quiet plane ride was a reminder that life doesn’t always have to be go-go-go. Disconnected from the world and my phone, I could sit with my thoughts in peace.

San Diego in Photos

Flowers on the fence
Beach Day
Beach Read
Favorite Spot
Truth
Chicken
Face Masks by Baggu
Koala Bear
Flowers the smelt like Cabbage Patch Kids
Afternoon Adventure
Summer Evening
Childhood Memories
Coast Toast & Hot Chocolate
Wall at Cass St.
Last Walk on the Beach
Palm Trees by Mom