Just know
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
If you need me
I’ll be there for you
Don’t hesitate
To say how you’re feeling
We’ve been friends for so long
Time can change us
But we remain the same
Someone to talk to
A safe place to listen
To keep each other’s feelings
Without fear of judgement
This poem is a draft
One I won’t perfect
I just wanted to post this
Just know I am a call away
Returns
The rush of people
The pressure
Not to slow others down
Leaves me in shambles
As I race up the jetway
Into the terminal.
I stop to catch my breath
And realize how shallow
the air sits in my lungs.
A feeling I knew
All too well returns
Within moments of moving
Through a space
I once called home.
The stress of travel
Leaves me tired
Up thirteen hours
Only to arrive
Just before one
In the afternoon
Mountain Time.
A few days, I stabilize.
My body remembers what
It’s like to live in
A climate this high.
To Find Myself
I drive down the road
Into the woods
To find myself
Amongst the leafless trees
And cold winter breeze
I listen to old songs
Flashbacks to my childhood
Always pop in my head
Road trips to San Diego
Sitting in the backseat
While my dad blasts
Bob Dylan on repeat
Listening to a favorite
Song on my iPod
In the living room
My grandmother sitting on
The couch with a book
I whisper the bad words
Under my breath
Like I’m committing a sin
Singing along
These moments are etched
In my memories
Until the end of time
Every time I hear the lyrics
They take me back
I smile
Unseen Cracks
The winter cold comes in
through the unseen cracks in the wall.
I bundle up in sweaters
and blankets, keep the blinds down,
and listen to the wind
wailing away all afternoon.
These cold days happen
unexpectedly, I learn to live
around what I cannot control.
The more I am here, the less
shocked I become
waking up to a ten degree
temperature drop.
The heat is on
but it doesn’t flow
when the wind blows
in certain directions.
Part of being
in an old building
by the sea,
I suppose.
The Candle
The light flickers and reflects
in the soft brown wood as rain
sprinkles down outside.
Disappointment is
another word for regret.
I look up and down,
side to side
trying to focus on
this book I’m currently reading.
Spurts of focus is the best
way to describe my lack of concentration.
I have it,
it’s just not as long as I like it.
Water slides down the glass door
like a secret I will never know.
I read the same passage twice,
focusing on the words written
because of the mention of someone
who lights my path.
The candle flickers as the sky
lightens.
Rain continues to
fall.
Space For Me
My stuff is scattered around this house.
It looks out of place, like I’m trying to live
in a space not molded around me.
I have too many clothes to fit
into three small drawers.
The tea I drink sits on the counter
in a mixed-matched pile I haven’t organized.
Coffee cups are upright on another counter
because I have forgotten which cabinet
I found them in when I got here.
A random pile of things sit on a bench
by the dining table, haven’t moved since
I brought them here, my temporary place
with no space for me. I’m a person who places
things in spots, living on top of someone else's home,
never trying to make it feel like my own.
Written in the summer of 2021.
First Hour
The first hour of my day is quiet.
I take my medication and wait.
Sometimes I fall back asleep.
Sometimes I’m left with my own thoughts.
I reflect on what I dreamed,
how well I slept,
what I want to write.
I’ve learned to leave my phone
on my nightstand.
I notice the light in my room,
how my muscles feel.
I move from one position
to another then back again,
my stomach filled with water makes weird noises.
The blankets piled on top of each other
keep me warm.
The cold winter air does not wreck
my peace of mind.
First Snow
Snow falls over the coast as
it moves along the ocean at a
glacial pace.
I stay inside all day under piles of
old blankets, trying to stay warm.
A new place with different snow,
two months later than usual
thanks to the warmer climate.
I appreciated the extended time
not worrying about the snow.
Many stores are closed, first storm
like this in the years, I learn from
the locals.
Good to know almost a foot of
snow isn’t normal, making up for
what we missed in the fall.
Bigger Picture
The best years begin on a Monday.
There’s something about
the possibilities of
the ways we move
through time
leave me breathless.
How these moments pass
before we realize how precious
they were when we were in them.
We were too busy
focused on meaningless
details to appreciate
the bigger picture.
Christmas Endings
It's been a year of change, challenges, and triumphs.
Little things build over time to lead to new, scary,
and beautiful lives.
I write these words at the end of the day, the last post
Of this year, feeling more grateful than I have
Ever felt.
Knowing how I got here has been a big part of these
Last few months, reflecting on my journey,
Learning to let go of old habits,
Loving myself through it all.
Take this last week of the year to find
Pockets of growth I can nurture and
Flourish into the next year.
I hope you do the same.
Cheers to the new year.
It's going to be good.
Kelly Severseike 