On The Boat

For Grandpa Boat

Whenever I see a boat, 
I think of you.
I am taken back to summer
days on the water,
I think of Minnesota.
I smell sunscreen and
wet carpet on the houseboat.
I think of my grandmother’s presence,
her ability to make everyone
feel at home even when
on the river.
I think of your black poodle
Domie running around.
I think of jumping off the boat,
cold water, golden sand,
old music, and laughter
with my cousins.
I think of Florida,
night swims, pool toys,
heavy heavy humidity.
I think of orange juice
you would have ever morning
while reading the newspaper.
I think of old movies.
I think of family trips
and game nights and drinking,
feeling overwhelmed by
so much summer sun.
I think of sunsets on the water
and swimming in the ocean.
I think of tubing, hanging on
while dad drove the boat,
enjoying the silence that came
along with flying along the water.
I think of the only time
I ever ate crème brûlée.
I think of karaoke,
singing my aunts favorite
song from her childhood.
Sweet Caroline…
Boats over the years.

Belief

MoMA NYC
I spent an afternoon surrounded by art.
Paintings and sculptures captured my attention.
Wandering around different exhibits,
I kept thinking, these artists believed
in themselves enough to be able to
share their work and have their work
make it here. I thought about the confidence 
one has to have in themselves to be here.
To root for yourself enough to make
the thing that eventually is seen
by people every day. To be admired
and respected long after you’re gone
for the art to remain strong and loud,
a voice lingered long after
the last breath was taken.
A belief of lasting beauty is enough
to do the work regardless of
what anyone else will say.

Streaks of Light

I am grateful to see the sun when I get out of work.
I am grateful for the colorful skies and warmer weather.
I am grateful for long walks and slow mornings.
I am grateful for the streaks of light that brighten my day.
I am grateful for the changing season and new beginnings.

Daily Reminder

Mistakes happen
Things will be corrected
Be patient
Try not to overthink
Or drown yourself in senseless worry
You are not your scariest thought
That will not happen
Stay present
Remember to breathe
Things will be okay

To My Inner Child

The journey to love yourself isn’t easy.
It’s rough. There’s tar and scars you have to unpack.

All the patterns that you have to untangle
From your thoughts that no longer work.

The difficult memories and feelings you have
To confront in order to let go and move on.

But there’s beauty too, in discovering yourself
In all the ways that help you heal.

Breathe, little one.
It will be okay, one day.

Just wait, it will be better.

Just Know

Just know
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
If you need me
I’ll be there for you 
Don’t hesitate
To say how you’re feeling

We’ve been friends for so long
Time can change us
But we remain the same
Someone to talk to
A safe place to listen
To keep each other’s feelings
Without fear of judgement

This poem is a draft
One I won’t perfect
I just wanted to post this
Just know I am a call away

Returns

The rush of people
The pressure
Not to slow others down
Leaves me in shambles
As I race up the jetway
Into the terminal.

I stop to catch my breath
And realize how shallow
the air sits in my lungs.

A feeling I knew
All too well returns
Within moments of moving
Through a space
I once called home.

The stress of travel
Leaves me tired
Up thirteen hours
Only to arrive
Just before one
In the afternoon
Mountain Time.

A few days, I stabilize.
My body remembers what
It’s like to live in
A climate this high.

To Find Myself

I drive down the road
Into the woods
To find myself
Amongst the leafless trees
And cold winter breeze

I listen to old songs
Flashbacks to my childhood
Always pop in my head

Road trips to San Diego
Sitting in the backseat
While my dad blasts
Bob Dylan on repeat

Listening to a favorite
Song on my iPod
In the living room
My grandmother sitting on
The couch with a book
I whisper the bad words
Under my breath
Like I’m committing a sin
Singing along

These moments are etched 
In my memories
Until the end of time
Every time I hear the lyrics
They take me back
I smile

Unseen Cracks

The winter cold comes in 
through the unseen cracks in the wall. 
I bundle up in sweaters 
and blankets, keep the blinds down,
and listen to the wind 
wailing away all afternoon.
These cold days happen 
unexpectedly, I learn to live
around what I cannot control.
The more I am here, the less 
shocked I become
waking up to a ten degree 
temperature drop.
The heat is on 
but it doesn’t flow 
when the wind blows 
in certain directions.
Part of being
in an old building
by the sea, 
I suppose.

The Candle

The light flickers and reflects
in the soft brown wood as rain 
sprinkles down outside.

Disappointment is
another word for regret.

I look up and down, 
side to side
trying to focus on
this book I’m currently reading.

Spurts of focus is the best
way to describe my lack of concentration.

I have it,
it’s just not as long as I like it.

Water slides down the glass door
like a secret I will never know.

I read the same passage twice,
focusing on the words written
because of the mention of someone
who lights my path.

The candle flickers as the sky
lightens.
Rain continues to 
fall.