“I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear.” – Joan Didion
I watch the sky turn from light yellow to cotton-candy pink within a matter of minutes The evening air is neither hot nor cold I'm comfortable in a sweater It slides down my left shoulder I don't bother to fix it I listen to Coldplay's Yellow, Orphans, & Fix You I watch the light fade In the field behind my house Cotton-candy clouds above the trees darken One song changes to another
I'm surrounded by people for the first time in months. This feels normal and strange all at once. I don't think about the virus for long. Later I will reflect on why. Social distancing is in place to protect us. We follow the unspoken rules as best we can. I float on the water and watch the crowd from afar. This feels like a dream. The last few months feel like a dream. What's real now? The worry or the comfort of people?
Dear Readers,
I’ve been doing a lot of listening lately. Listening to those who are demanding change at protests and providing links online. I’ve been reading books, articles, and essays from black writers about what’s happening right now. I’m learning more about our history as a nation than I was taught in high school.
I had a plan before all of this happened to write poems about Pride Month like I did last June. That plan has changed. I love poetry but right now, I’m just trying to listen as much as I can and share the voices of those who need to be heard at this moment in America. Those who can articulate this moment much better than I can.
I want to share some of those voices with you. I urge you to take some time to read and listen to what they have to say.
Stay safe. Drink water. Wear your mask.
Kelly
America, This Is Your Chance – The New York Times
On the Minds of Black Lives Matter Protesters: A Racist Health System – ProPublica
How to Make this Moment the Turning Point for Real Change – Medium
I’m black and despite all I’ve accomplished, society views me as a threat – The Denver Post
Becoming a Parent in the Age of Black Lives Matter – The Atlantic
Heather McGhee – Armchair Expert
Whose Grief? Our Grief – GQ
A ‘Glorious Poetic Rage’ – The New York Times
Not Just Another Protest – NPR
My White Friend Asked Me on Facebook to Explain White Privilege. I Decided to Be Honest – Yes Magazine
For Every Person Tired Of Police Brutality – BuzzfeedVideo
The American Nightmare – The Atlantic
Dear White People, This is What We Want You to Do – Inside The Kandi Dish
Letter from a Region in My Mind – The New Yorker
BlackOutTuesday: The do’s and don’ts of anti-racism – Wait, There’s More
7 Ways You Can Help Black People Combat Racism – Medium
Performative Allyship Is Deadly (Here’s What to Do Instead) – Medium
I’ve Spent Months Fighting Coronavirus in the ER. Police Violence Is What Really Scares Me – GQ
So Much To Do – VlogBrothers
Dear Readers,
I won’t be posting a poem today. I encourage you to read what I posted yesterday about what to do during these times.
Stay safe.
Kelly
You know what makes me happy? Choosing not to drown myself in current events. At the beginning of all this, I was obsessed with Knowing all the latest information. I also had more physical anxiety than I had experienced in several years. My mental health is better when I look away. Nowadays, I see and know very little news. It's all the same anyway, repeating concerns and worries About something we cannot control. The occasional headline that breaks From the pattern won't last long. I see things scrolling through Twitter. I acknowledge it, maybe look, then let it go.
For my mom.
Congratulations on another lap around the sun. This isn't the ideal time to have a birthday, But here we are, so let's make the best of it. Your age is just a number, Another number you gain for being alive. Everyone who knows you is lucky, For they know your kind heart, Your lively spirit and your beautiful soul. While there are no birthday candles to blow out, You appreciate the little things, the people around you. You look around and see your family, Your daughters who are mirrors of your younger self. Your husband who says, "you know me" too often. You wave at your friends through screens And stay distanced when you meet. I know you'll find a way to make this lap the best one yet.
These last few weeks have been weird. That’s the best way I can put it, they’ve been weird. We’re living in weird times. And who knows when that will change.
As things begin to open up and people are crowding into places because they want to have brunch, I can’t help but wonder if this is happening because what life was like before is still fresh in our memories.
It was only two months ago when things really began changing in most places around the globe. For some people, going into a crowded restaurant isn’t anxiety-inducing. Up until fairly recently, there hasn’t been an unseen virus lingering around.
Most people who get this virus will survive. However, there should be a compromise to keep those who have to go out or are comfortable with it safe. Social distancing and wearing masks, having people eat outside or removing tables to keep distance between tables.
No one likes this current state of our society. But, if we want to keep infection rates steady to not overload hospitals, we should keep each other and ourselves safe by adapting.
In happier news, the swelling around my eyes has been slowly decreasing and I haven’t had to use artificial tears in over a week. This isn’t the ideal time to be getting better with all of this going around. But, I’m happy things are progressing instead of being stuck in place.
Pinpoint something in yourself you can be proud of. Maybe you went on a walk today or changed your clothes. Whatever it is, if it’s important to you, then it matters.
Good Stuff
Normal People – Hulu
Normal People Official Soundtrack – Spotify
Roxane Gay’s Interview on I-Weigh – Spotify
Is the Virus on My Clothes? My Shoes? My Hair? My Newspaper? – The New York Times
My Therapist Says Feelings Aren’t Facts – Medium
Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder 🐶 – TikTok
How Things are Made 🎨 – TikTok
Day 1 in #quarantine vs. day 50 – TikTok
Family meeting! – TikTok
I went on a drive to visit the world Through the safety of my dusty car window. I was gone for the length of a typical movie, Looping through foothills, passing bikers, And elevating into the small mountains As motorcycles followed too close behind me. I can report that the earth is coming to life once more. Crowds of horses gather on green grass overlooking the road Parking lots are shut off for people's safety While others are too overcrowded that A sign had to be put next to it, reading, "Don't linger in a crowded parking lot, Keep Colorado safe by staying home," That suggestion didn't hold meaning To those who wanted to enjoy a beautiful spring day.
As life begins to reopen in some places around the country and across the world, it’s important to be aware. Social distancing is still in place. Staying six feet apart as much as you possibly can is crucial to keeping the spread of this virus down. Wearing a mask when in public spaces. Still remaining home as much as possible.
People are going to have heightened emotions. Some will be anxious, others will be restless. Some will be trying their best to get what they need and get home. Others will rebel and not wear a mask. While it’s their choice, it’s also defeating the purpose if not everyone does it, especially in indoor public space when staying six feet apart maybe a bit harder.
I don’t know what the answer is but to respect other people and what they’re going through during the midst of all this. It’s not an easy time in the world and it’s best to be kind to each other. Awareness that other people may be processing this differently than you are. We handle change differently and this time is certainly no exception.
One of the most important parts to be aware of as things begin reopen is that life isn’t going to back to the way it was. Those times won’t be back for a while, more than likely not until we get a vaccine that’s available to everyone. My advice to you is not to be stupid and put yourself in a position where you or anyone you love could get sick. Don’t let your emotions run wild and do things that you may regret later.
We’re all in this together by continuing to stay apart as much as we possibly can.
I have held on tightly to little things during this time. Walking my dog then watching him roll around in the grass right before we go inside. Finding my cats soaking up the sunshine in the mornings. Reading when my mind will allow me to focus on the words written on the page. Writing my feelings down so they will stop spiraling around in my head. Talking about how I'm feeling with my therapist or a friend. Meditating each morning before I get up and begin my day. Avoiding the news for much of the hours I am awake. Who knows when it will be safe to attend a concert and enjoy live music with a crowd again. Who knows when we will be able to travel to our favorite places and be with those we love. Who knows when we will be able to watch the sun fall into the ocean or rise while on a cross country road trip. All I know is that in this time we are currently in, there will be okay days and bad days. There will be days that drag on and we will wonder if things will ever appear the same again. There will be days of uncertainty and days filled with tears. That's okay, it's part of being in a time period filled with an overwhelming amount of unknowns. We are all figuring things out as we go along, it's a process. We should be patient with each other. We should respect one another. We should be kind. We don't know when things will improve but we will get through this. This too shall pass.
Kelly Severseike 