the crisp clung in the midwest air as the wind blew slightly cool. autumn arrived over night, driving from one state to another, the change in weather marked the beginning of fall layers. the clouds moved in and by night, rain was covering the road. red wine and dancing was mixed with cozy blankets and short conversations with people I hadn't seen in three years, before life as we had known it changed. what brings us together on chilly autumn nights, a celebration of love, appreciating those who I have known the longest.
weekend views
classic cold
I am calm in my body I listen to my body I stay low I stay quiet I drink a lot of tea I do not drink caffeine I take a lot of honey I nap I read my book I nap some more I sneeze I cough I sneeze again I cough again I take a Covid test I do not have Covid I feel a change in my body I feel my nose is stuffy I notice my voice is raspy I do not like talking I breathe I meditate I stay quiet I wear a mask in public I hydrate I hydrate I hydrate I nap I drink more tea I take DayQuil I take NyQuil I take another Covid test I do not have Covid I have a classic cold I sneeze I cough I am slowly recovering
misty rain on saturday
When you enter a place of stillness, you awaken the divinity within you.
Peggy Sealfon
hiding from the chill of early september under the pile of blankets in my bed fuzzy socks on my cold feet I reread a book I first read in college misty rain on saturday cozy day inside my body is still my mind is full
Read my piece On Turning 29
self-love
a short poem to remind you everything will be okay. find beauty in little things, be present in the moment you're in. learning self-love takes time, be patient with yourself today.
thoughts of now
August rain: the best of the summer gone, and the new fall not yet born. The odd uneven time.
Sylvia Plath
smell of fresh rain sound of fans turning late afternoon naps sweaters and tea first thing in the morning dogs going crazy all the time drives with scenic views hips hurting from standing one conversation on repeat different shades of the same color people who don't think people who overthink memoir about a child star rereading fiction repeating affirmations oil calming my anxiety vibrant green leaves have faded on the tree outside my window
10:23 pm
my window is closed I can hear the cicadas chirping loudly tonight drowning out the usual quiet of august evenings, the rain this afternoon startled the whole house the dog ran from the bathroom to the closet nonstop for thirty minutes like a spy trying to hide darting from one dark space to the other, my heart skipped a beat during the brief moments where I felt the house sway out of place, soon a night storm will patter on the roof as I fall asleep.
end of june blues
the end of pride month grief lingers heavy in the summer air I cannot properly put into words how I am feeling still in the midst of processing the weight of the fact that women in this country are not allowed to choose what's best for their bodies
adjusting
my body aches in places I don't usually feel in trying to adjust for my ankle to heal, I become aware of the toll my body takes in the process. my shins get the brunt of bruising, trying to sit while working leads to bumping into shelves and solid structures finding comfort for my left side causes a trail of marks on my right side. my hips hurt from leaning on one side, making sure the swelling isn't bad is fills me with worry and panic. I call people by their wrong names and repeat myself over and over, my thoughts have succumbed to the worst case scenario. I listen to my ankle, I ice, elevate, and take ibuprofen as needed. It doesn't swell or bruise like I feared. It slowly heals on the days I can rest on the couch or in my bed. in these moments, I am reminded I am not in control and I still have a lot to learn.
mindfulness
a state of awareness brought on by breathing my skin is red from the heat of this bath I massage my neck with my finger tips and slip into nothingness, happy I watch my thoughts drift away I move the water around me I breathe in through my belly I hold my breath I release the air out gently when life around me becomes too crazy, no time to breathe or think or talk, I try to remember to be aware of how I'm feeling before overwhelm swallows me whole
Kelly Severseike 